A long time ago, before I met my husband I was in a relationship that was ... neglectful? I wouldn't call it abusive, per-say, but it was severely unequal in so very many ways. I'm not quite sure what gave me the strength to end it or where I gained the wisdom and confidence to know that I wanted and deserved a very different kind of life but I'm supremely thankful that I somehow did. I don't think about this much anymore because I'm now a wife and mom to two young children and even though we have our fair share (and then some) of challenges, I'm the luckiest woman on the planet.
I recently read Lost Edens by Jamie Patterson and I felt like I was seeing an exaggerated version of my old self. A self that existed exclusively to please others. A self that was barely able to make a decision, never chose so much as a restaurant, because, GASP! lest I make the wrong decision and make him upset.
I really had trouble reading a story about something that reminded me of such a bad time in my life but it also felt good to see how different I am I now. I remember being consumed with pleasing others, worried solely about what my partner needed and wanted and just accepting a less comfortable situation.
I shudder at the thought of what I used to be like. I am .... such a stronger person now. I AM a person now, I wasn't then. I'm really glad I read this book because it allowed me to think about a part of my life that I thought I had closed the door on, and in fact, I have, but now I'm able to reflect back with a deeper sense of pride in my choices.
In Lost Edens, author Jamie Patterson struggles to save her marriage which may or may not be already over. Keeping her attempts a secret from her family, she attempts to mold herself into the wife her husband wants her to be. As a member of From Left to Write book club, I received a copy of this book for review. You can read other members posts inspired by Lost Edens by Jamie Patterson on book club day, October 27 at From Left to Write.
