Shall we start on a light note? I'm really bummed that I have too much going on this week; something every day that is keeping me from enjoying a $50 Spa Week facial.
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I'm really excited that the thing keeping me from a cheap and glorious facial tomorrow is that I get to see some of my favorite writers and ladies at a great event at the Capital Area Food Bank to learn about the Child Hunger Ends Here program. I'm sure I'll have a lot more to say about this tomorrow night. I have no idea what I'm going to see or hear and I'm excited for this opportunity to learn.
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Mallory has a weird foot issue that is bothering me. When she started standing many months ago I pointed it out to the doctor that her left foot seemed to be turned out in an exaggerated sort of way, more so than the right foot. At the time, the doctor said it was normal for feet to face outward at that age and it was all part of learning to balance and I listened and nodded and waved my hand, Phew! ... next issue, more snot! But, I was laying on the floor watching her walk the other day and while she still does the just-learned-to-walk lurch thing, it looks like she is reliably using her left foot in a strange way. She walks sort of on the arch of her left foot, and when she is in her harder soled shoes, the left foot makes a Thub-Thub sound as it smacks on the floor, more so than the other one.
After a horrifyingly hand-wringy few minutes while I Googled Baby-Foot-Deformity I realized she DOES NOT have a club foot by any stretch of the mind but most likely has a very mild deformity probably corrected with a shoe or even just massage/therapy/manipulation, etc.
Last time I had that nagging concern feeling in my gut about my child possibly have a tiny bit of a delay I stuffed it down with some Hydrogenated Fat and High Fructose Corn Syrup and then allowed a doctor to talk me out of my concerns. And Boy! Was he wrong! (I don't recall writing it at the time but an old pediatrician consistently blew off my concerns about Noah's lack of words, butt rashes, picky eating ... need I go on?) Do I wait until her 15 month appointment in two and a half weeks, or do I call and go in TOMORROW? I just want to address this immediately and since I suspect we'll need to see a specialist, why wait? I'm thinking, proceed with urgency but pass go first and collect that $200 because you are going to need it for that Out-Of-Network specialist, dammit.
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I'm running again.
I'm running a 5K on Saturday for Autism Speaks. Of course I have a personal interest in the organization but the run is really for me. I needed something to train for, something to do all on my own, goals, blah blah blah.
After a few weeks of NOT running and doing mostly weight training, I got back on a treadmill last week and did a few three mile runs. Day One I ran 3 miles in 30:22. Impressive, for me.
Two days later I got back on the treadmill and set out to do it again. Without setting out to reach this goal or even thinking about it really, I ran 3 miles in 29:53. I achieved the ever-elusive SUB-30 minute 5K. I was pretty damn impressed with myself.
I'm really really *really* thinking about doing a brief little 10K on Sunday morning too. It's only 6 miles, I know I can DO it. It's mostly downhill. It is in a dense urban area with lots of stores so there will be plenty of distracting scenery, I mean, why not, right?
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In between running and weight training to maintain my sanity I am trying to spend quality time with Mallory. I still feel so much guilt because her life has been impacted so much by Autism. When I mention this piece to other people I usually get a roll of the eyes-nodding of the head Psshaw! because she is SO LOVED! and SO HAPPY! and Don't worry she's going to be the most resilient and most considerate person ever! comment and it's missing the mark, or maybe I'm just not good at explaining what I really feel. Her reality of not having enough time to eat breakfast, EVER, crawling after me crying in the mornings because she just wants a cuddle or a hug or a few minutes of her mother not rushing around begging Noah to make pee-pees and put his damn shoes on already and "OK! Fine! Here's Super Why but SHOES FIRST THEN SUPER WHY."
To assuage my own guilt I enrolled her in a class at Romp & Roll and she absolutely loves it. She acts happy there. She leaves my side. She sits in her teacher's lap during story time. She doesn't get upset when it is time to put the scarves away and get out the shakey eggs. Who knew that that was a problem!? Watching her imitate other kids, engage and enjoy these normal activities is like a breath of fresh air on a ten degree day, it feels refreshing at first, until the sting of the cold air reaches your chest and you cringe shut.
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My little couch potatoes eating in front of the TV. WHAT?!