Fabulous Miss S.

Chilean Sea Bass and I Cooked!

My favorite fish is Chilean Sea Bass but I never buy it.  It's super expensive and not eco-counscious so I tend to order it when I go out.  Problem is, I never go out.  Joanne came over last night to see the kids while Marc was out doing dorky man things like a Fantasy Baseball Draft.  Joanne reminded me that he could be out chasing skirts and that I should be thankful for small favors and I suppose she is right. 

I posted on Facebook last night that I was cooking Chilean Sea Bass for dinner and I got a bunch of responses asking for the recipe, so, here is what I did.

I took this recipe   and amended it as follows, thanks Bobby Flay! :

Also, much like Rachael Ray, I don't measure, the original measurements are below but I was much looser with my amounts. 

Chilean Sea Bass

• 1/2 cup chopped shallots
• 2 tablespoons minced garlic
• 1/2 teaspoon red chili flakes
• 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1 cup vegetable broth
• 1 cup white wine
• 2 tablespoon honey
• 2 Chilean sea bass fillets, skinned (about one and a quarter pounds, I cut it into two filets and they were SUPER thick.  In retrospect, I should have cut them lengthwise and gotten four portions.)   

Put the shallots, garlic, cayenne and chili flakes in a pan and dry-sautee them until they smell good, medium heat for about 2 minutes.  Add the liquids, stir and allow it to simmer and cook down for about 30 minutes.  If it gets too concentrated, add more equal amounts of broth and wine.

Pan sear the fish, turning frequently and coating it each time with the cooked down mixture that now has the texture of watery relish.  Cook on medium heat, basting frequently with the "relish". 

Serve over puree of parsnips, (recipe below) and with a spinach salad on the side drizzled with lemon juice and balsamic glaze (or vinegar). 

The original parsnip recipe I googled is here, I made a few changes.

 

Pureed Parsnips

• 1 bag parsnips, peeled and sliced
• Salt
• 2 cups milk or cream (I used whole milk, original recipe called for cream)
• 2generous teaspoons of dried/ground thyme, original recipe called for 2 sprigs fresh thryme
• 1 head garlic, cut in 1/2 horizontally
• 4 ounces unsalted butter or extra-virgin olive oil
• Freshly ground black pepper

Put parsnips in pot, season with salt and cover with water. Boil for about 15 minutes or until they are very tender.  Drain, reserving the liquid in case you need to add it later, I didn't. 

While the parsnips are boiling, in a separate saucepan, combine the milk, thyme, garlic and pepper and simmer on a low-medium heat so that milk/cream gets thoroughly infused with the  flavors of garlic and thyme.  

Combine the parsnips and butter or oil in a blender, I used butter, come on, this meal is really healthy, use BUTTER, and blend for thirty seconds.  Strain the milk and add it to the blender, mix for about a minute until smooth. 

This was the best meal I have eaten in a very long time.  Joanne gave it a super thumbs up and Marc had leftovers and also said it was off-the-charts-fantastic. 

I'm just kicking myself for not taking pictures. 

 

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for

It seems that I may have stirred up some controversy yesterday when I wrote about myself, unveiling my innermost emotions and revealing my unending pain about Noah having Autism and how it has deeply affected my family, my marriage and my relationships. 

I fear that some people took it personally.  It wasn't meant so. 

I was actually responding to the prompt of DAY 4 Something you have to forgive someone for as part of the 30 Days of Truth blog thingy.  I started writing and what I had to say took on a life of its own and I wanted my words to stand alone.  Then, this morning, I went back and read my words ( I hate rereading my own writing. *shudder* ) and I while I still felt the same feelings I realized my motivation was not clear.  My motivation for writing what I said yesterday was this: Something you have to forgive someone for.  I need to forgive people for not getting it, not understanding Autism, and for not knowing what to do.  People only know if I tell them and sometimes even I don't know what I need.  But I want to go further, I want to educate others about hot to help a friend in a crisis because even I am guilty of walking away when something feels uncomfortable, it's easier, and we've all been there.  

My message to those who may have been upset at yesterday's words, it wasn't about you and I didn't finish my thought.   

A work in progress: living with special needs

I'm still mad. 

Ohemgee! I'm probably going to get stoned to death outside my own home for saying that but it is the real truth and the hard truth.  The truth is hard sometimes to hear and even harder to admit to feeling.  But, I am still mad at so many people for not understanding how horrific an Autism diagnosis really is for a family. Ultimately, I know that I need to let go and forgive because people can't understand if they haven't been through it and I need to focus my energies and emotions toward my priorities. 

I'm rational enough, sometimes, to know that there is no way that anyone can understand really, unless they have gone through it but, I am having the hardest time letting go of being so frustrated that people are frustrated with me for being in this funk.  I think it is really hard for people to sit by and watch someone they care about be depressed, sad, hurt.  It's... uncomfortable.  In order to show respect for those emotions you do just need to sit with them and experience them.  It isn't really pretty or fun but it is a very real part of life.

I see it this way:  a special needs diagnosis is like a tragedy, a death, let's say.   The harsh words hit you and smack you cold hard dead in the face.  You can't believe it, then you do and you are deeply sad, then you get angry, then you are in deep denial, and then you doubt it, question it, rationalize it away and then ... well, as time goes on life goes on and returns to a new kind of normal.  People stop sending sympathy cards, stop sending meals, stop asking how you are because you are acting and looking normal again.  But wait!  That doesn't happen with a special needs diagnosis.  At least it didn't for me. 

I went through all of those emotions but life didn't go on as planned.  Life got even harder and then those damn feelings came back around again only in a different order and totally unxepectedly.  But, the world and my friends had moved on.  They comforted me during my initial shock and sorrow and as we got into a routine of therapy and school and bedtimes it did seem like we were on top of things but dammit, things are just SO not okay. I woke up today with the same sadness, grief, worry, sorrow, concern, and uncertainty that I did three, six and nine months ago. 

Here it is:  I don't know what is going to happen to my child.  If you don't have special needs you don't KNOW the awkward heart-wrenching hand-wringing pervasive stress that carries.  You can't imagine.  And please, don't tell me that you know you can't imagine it.  I know that I can't blame people for not understanding and I don't really.  I don't.  I do get angry when people judge me, make assumptions about me, assume that I'm angry with them, when, hell, look at what I'm burdened with every day of my life.  My tragic news is just as tragic to wake up with today as it was the day after Noah's Autism was confirmed.  I'm more in control now but the stress has changed me.  I'm changed.  I'm a changed person. 

I talked to a psychic!

Do you ever wonder why you are the way that you are?

 

Or have you ever listened to someone tell you about a past life and wonder, hey ... I wonder if I have a past life?

 

A recent Facebook posting by Uppercase Woman led me to have the opportunity to speak with a psychic!  I know, right!? 

 

Let me backtrack a bit.  I'm often a very cynical and sarcastic and most people wouldn't describe me as spiritual but, hey ... given this chance, I thought I'd check it out, we can all use a psychic reading a time or two in our lives, right?

 

 

In my usual dortasticness I had no idea what to ask about.  Um, Hi! I have a special needs child, what's our future going to be like?   That didn't go over so well, I assume they don't want to say anything bad or terribly negative, so instead I talked about how I have a child with lots of challenges and how would that impact my family going forward.  The answers I got were very ... vanilla ... nothing too exciting, yada yada, the next few years are going to continue to be just as hard but things will improve in the long run.  Specifically, my psychic told me that I am a very strong person (no kidding!), people are challenging to him, and YES! that is very true, my autistic son has tremendous challenges with people.  Curiously so, he told me I was holding on too hard and this gave me pause because I totally am.  I was rigid and controlling before Autism, sheesh, I'm kind of certifiable these days.

 

Telling the future, maybe ... perhaps.  It did give me just enough pause to make me thinks about myself in a larger sense and how my actions today will impact my family tomorrow and in the future. 

 

It is also predicted that I will still be married to Marc in five and in ten years.  However, he did tell me that things are going to continue to be rocky until October or November of this year.   I suppose that's a good thing. Heh.

 

Next, I called back and chose a different psychic with a speciality in past life.  This actually excites me more than a prediction of the future.  I mean, IF it is true and my soul has lived before, I want to know what she did.  As it turns out, of all the things and places that could have been described, it is actually ironic? ... coincidental ...? flat out true! that my past life as told to me during my psychic reading is of significant relevance to me and my family. 

 

In a past life I was a gorgeous, voluptuous, dark haired Italian woman who came from a wonderfully happy and not wealthy family in Italy.  After losing my mother at the young age of 15, I married a teacher when I was 20 and went on to have three sons and a very peaceful but simple life filled with love.  We lived near Rome, in the countryside. 

 

If that wasn't my past life, I'll certainly take it in my next life!

 

Have you ever had a psychic reading?