Tampax, Kotex, Stayfree, Oh My!

If you are a male reader, of which I think there are three, you might want to skip this one. Ditto for anyone of the above referenced male persuasion and related to me.  Warning:  I might mention female body functions and products and possibly diarrhea too, cause, you know me, I like to be HONEST.

Period Watch 2008 2009 has come to an end ya'll! 

Over here at Casa de Fabulous we are celebrating the return of my monthly friend cycle annoyance, oh hell, my period, I was never one for those cutesy names anyway so let's call a spade a spade. 

This is the first period I have had since conceiving Noah, oh, TWO YEARS AND TWO WEEKS ago.  I was expecting a real doozy if you know what I mean and I think you do, but I am pleasantly surprised to announce that it hasn't been all that bad, period-wise. 

If you were to factor in the touch-of-the-stomach-flu that I have experienced this week in a way that can only be described as coincidentally unfortunate then I would have to tell you it hasn't been a fun week for me. 

When the cramps started shooting upwards toward my sternum and sending me running to the toilet every five minutes to empty my lower colon I thought, hum, this is ... different than before. 

Perhaps pregnancy relocated my uterus a bit further north but I do not recall periods being this ... nauseating. The aches and mild fever were the tip off.  I am better now and I can put the not distant enough memory of tomato skins and bile water shooting out of my arse behind me.

Pun intended.

Heh.

I slay myself.

This recent return of femaleness and fertility are definitely well noted by my husband who anxious as hell to work on making Unit #2.  All I will say for now is that it is a definite possibility and I will certainly share all the details with you, dearest Internet friends and strangers as soon as I have something to share with anyone other than my spouse

As for the imminent return to sexy time, my husband may still be scarred by the memory of me poised on the commode mid-wipe last Sunday night when I shrieked, SHRIEKED ... OHMYGODIJUSTGOTMYPERIOD. 

I suppose I'll just have to cook him a steak.  That ought to get him back in the mood.

On a not so different but interesting note, it seems they have changed Tampax since I last used them.  I mean, TAMPAX, they haven't changed in like, 45 years, but apparently in the last two they added some nice little indentations on the, um, cardboard thingy.  Nice touch. 

Pun. Heh.

Comments

[Pericles]

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[BananaBlueberry]

Good luck!
Congrats on getting back on that bandwagon !!!!

[De in D.C.]

LOL. My period had come back 6mos after Will was born, while I was in Ohio visiting family. Family that didn't include anyone in the menstruating demographic. I had to put a breast pad in my undies until I could make an emergency trip to the drug store. Sooooo embarrassing.

I envy you and your extra-long cycle-free reprieve.

[Hilary]

This post rocks. I had NO IDEA your period would be MIA for that long after conception! I feel so dumb for not knowing! Calming down with the exclamation marks, did I understand right when I thought you eluded to trying for baby #2? Because that would be awesome.
Last, thanks for "calling a spade a spade," I can't handle when grown women refer to "Flo" or some other stupid bullshit. So thanks.