Parallels

I find it dually fascinating and frustrating how two siblings who experienced the same event can reflect on it in such different ways and allow past events and crisis to internally manifest in such vastly different ways. 

My brother enjoys sky-diving, base jumping, flitting off to Italy each summer to work on an archaeological dig, and the occasional jaunt to second and third world nations that are home to some of the most magical wonders and man-inflicted dangers of our planet, Egypt, Tunisia, Turkey and New Zealand while I prefer to sow the roots of family, children and cozy evenings at home.  A glass of Cabernet, a good friend and an uninterrupted night of sleep are enough to fortify me for days to come. 

I just finished a book, Who By Fire, written by Diana Spechler, that had so many parallels to my own life, more in theme rather than specifics that I couldn't help but feel that this book feel into my lap for a real purpose. (Beyond the fact that I am participating in Book Club Day for DC Metro Moms, more on that here.)

In the story, Bits, the older sister tries to rescue her brother Asher from his chosen life at Yeshiva Hillel in Jerusalem.  Granted, she wants him to come home for their sister's funeral but her greater purpose is to rescue him from the isolated and seemingly cold life of an Orthodox Jew.  Likewise, Asher is critical of Bits' life that is lived on the fly, dating, frequent sexual partners, shopping, friends, a life lived without God; he doesn't understand how she can stand herself in this life.  Interesting to me is that I don't understand, although I don't criticize, why my brother enjoys these activities that carry such a life threatening and injury factor.  The back side of the coin is that my brother sees no reason to "settle down" and live a life that includes insurance, children and seat belts.  

Our relationships with our siblings haunt us and follow us wherever we go in life.  Our siblings are genetically closer to us than anyone else in this world, but the most minute twist of a strand of DNA can cause a completely different person and outlook on the world.  We expect them to be exactly like us because in so many ways, they are, but the life they live is their own, their own experiences and challenges. 

One final note about the book, I am Jewish, as is the family in the book.  Although my religious practices are more along the lines of Bits, rather than Ash.  I was able to understand some of the points in the book and it taught me a lot about Torah and Orthodox life that I didn't know before.  If you are up for analyzing some familial relationships this book is a great read! 

Comments

[Darryle]

Hi,
Love your blog! Think I'll go from here to Amazon---and FYI I am reading a real life story of very different siblings, also Jewish, by Marie Brenner, called Apples and Oranges. Think you'd like it too.

[Diana]

Thank you for the beautiful insights! I'm so glad you liked my book!
-Diana (the author)