Goal one, Goal two

I said I wouldn't but I did. I gained fifty (50) pounds while pregnant with Noah last year.  It was a fun fifty pounds let me tell you!  I had Oreos and Vienna Fingers in the house at all times.  I cleared my dinner plate and went back for seconds.  I ate everything nutritious and then some.  I had a hearty breakfast and a 10am bagel with double cream cheese, courtesy of the Au Bon Pain at 10th and Pennsylvania.  I felt guilty and ate fruit and yogurt and soup for lunch but I'd buy a pretzel, okay two, with dip for the train ride home.  I ate a lot and if felt so good.  And I knew I would have to reconcile it later and I didn't care.

I left for the hospital with broken meconium-water at midnight on December 20th and I weighed two hundred pounds (200).

Certain that I had a twenty pound baby in there I was shocked SHOCKED when Noah was only a mere six pounds five ounces.  Actually I was a little miffed too.  It was so unfair of me to keep all that good fat on my own thighs!

I didn't get serious about my weight loss until the weather turned to Spring and the postpartum fog lifted enough for me to move off of the sofa and feel like I deserved it.

So here I am today.  Almost nine months later (huh, nine months up nine months down, turns out the fuckers who said that were right) I am essentially at my first goal.  I have lost fifty pounds.  But actually, if we're being honest here and I am telling the Interwebz my weight and GASP! measurements, I am 151.4 pounds.

I have spent most of my life on the thicker side, heavier than most, at the top of my weight range bracket and a few pounds over where I should have been for my height.  I spent years telling myself that I was big boned and that the charts just didn't apply to everyone and that I was a nice person and it didn't matter if I had a not so wee little spare tire around my waist.  I also gain my weight in my waist, hips and ass. I envy those who just get saddle-bags because dammit! you still have a waist line.

I was never particularly athletic either.  As a pre-teen I played softball and I was sort of a joke.  I never really got the "hustle" part of running the bases and I preferred the outfield where I didn't actually have to pay attention to the game and could stand there and pick at my cuticles.  In high school I joined a summer-league swim team and LOVED IT.  It was very unorganized so I never had the chance to get into great shape but I did do pretty well and more importantly, my love for the water was renewed and I kept swimming on and off through college.  I hated gym class because it messed up my hair and I didn't like to sweat when I couldn't shower. Essentially, us Jews are not known for our athletic prowess, although, there are certainly a few great exceptions.

I like to eat. I like popcorn and nachos and Velveeta-salsa queso with dippy chips.  I like cool whip on graham crackers and spoonfuls of peanut butter.  I like cheese and crackers and cookies and brownies are good too, I have a special love for Italian sandwich meats on big hoagie buns and Chinese food is good too.  I could eat macaroni and cheese with a side of something spicy every night.  But, I wouldn't feel too good. 

In reality, for the past few months I have eaten oatmeal for breakfast every morning (Kirkland/Costco Organic Instant Oatmeal, 45 packets for $10.99) and I add a tablespoon of brown sugar, ground flax, a dash of cinnamon and vanilla extract and a handful of dried or fresh blueberries.  It tastes good!  And I have been eating it for months now.  I try to make pancakes for the family on Saturday because I think that is a nice family tradition.  I am realistic with my eating.  I don't starve and I don't deprive myself.  I eat what I want and then workout to burn it off.  I have weeks where I snack way too much and I feel lethargic and weak and worthless.  I try to snack on low-calorie but not low-chemical snacks like South Beach Peanut Butter 140-calorie bars.  I drink A LOT of Crystal Light Iced Tea because I drank so much plain water while pregnant that I just can't get it down right now.  I love the 60-calorie pudding snack cups and I add a heaping healthy serving or two (maybe, three) of cool whip to the top, those 100-calorie packs of microwave popcorn are excellent when you add that butter-flavored fake-salt seasoning, and yes, a few times, I broke down and added actual melted butter. But, you get the idea that I try. And also the idea that I eat. 

Getting back to the main point here: I have reached my first goal. (more or less, give or take)
When I first got serious about getting back into my body I took these measurements:

MARCH 24, 2008 (Baby: 3 mos. old)
165 lbs
Hips: 41 inches
Waist: 38 inches
Thigh: 25 3/4 inches
Arm: 12 inches (of soft shaky flab)

And last week I took these:
SEPTEMBER 1, 2008 (Baby: 8.5 mos. old)
150.2 lbs
Hips: 39.5 inches
Waist: 34
Thigh: 24 1/4

TOTALS: 15 pounds. 5 months. 4 INCHES off my waist

I know it took a long time and I had a few setbacks including life, a new baby, three websites on which I provide content, Sunday dinners with my Mom's homemade ice cream, some minor bouts of postpartum depression and a few flare ups of old man anxiety.  Did I mention LIFE?

I actually took measurements every few weeks but the change is very very slight.  I didn't join a gym until July (158 lbs). 

Somewhere around mid-August I bought and started doing Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred.  My new goals are this: 145 lbs by Oct 1. 135lbs by December 21, Noah's first birthday.

I am being honest about my numbers and my lifestyle because I want you, other bloggers to see me as a real person, a normal person, just like you, who has struggled with weight in the 148-155lb range for at least a decade now.  I spent a lot of time before I got pregnant hovering at 158 lbs but a post-baby 158 pounds means your stomach is much flabbier and ... softer?  Sharpei-like, if you will.

I love feeling strong. I love feeling capable. I love swinging my 22-lb baby in the air. I am now able to do that.  I try to go to the gym on Monday and Friday nights.  I do about 30-45 minutes of cardio on the elliptical machine or a split from the bike and the elliptical.  Then I go into the group fitness room which isn't being used for a class and I do as much of the Jillian workout as I can remember. I do jumping jacks and dumb-bell rows and crunches and I jump rope. And a few times in between Monday and Friday, or more like Friday and Monday -- I try to workout when Marc can watch the baby.

This post is getting incessantly long and I think I want to make this a new section of my blog so I'm going to end this here and promise to add more. 

You can do what I have done so far. 

I am NO different than you.

I have felt the immense, intense lows of postpartum depression and right now while I'm not in the best of moods, I can go to bed honestly feeling strong and on the way to GOAL #2. 

I have a lot more to gain lose achieve physically and I need your support.  Are you with me?  Will you make an effort to get health? Get strong? Make time for yourself?  You know, we can do this together!

Comments

[jodifur]

join my gym, it has childcare. We can work out together! We have very similair body types and goal weights.

Congrats on the the weight lose.

[GDH]

Congratulations on the weight loss, that's great! There's nothing wrong with indulging once a week or so. Good luck in reaching your goals, you can do it!

[Hilary]

Well done! I lost a bunch of weight last year and got so excited I began to feast and you know, gained it all back. BUT! Not this time, no sir. I agree, a community of like-minded people striving for their goals totally helps. Good luck and seriously the Shred?! You are so brave!

[Talking Budgie]

Wow! Congratulations! It's awesome that you feel fantastic and I bet you are looking super fit as well.

[Sarah Lena]

I am SOOO proud of you, girl! You will be my new inspiration. I start the Shred on Monday.