The cold that the Internet gave me

Dear Mom, Dad, Mother-in-Law, Aunt, Cousin M, Neighbor, and those few friends from high school whom I only communicate with through MySpace:

I am still pregnant.

Yes, I have an appointment today. Yes, if they can, they might strip my membranes to get this thing going.  You can be sure I will tell you all about it in great detail.  I also have a cold from hell and if you want some details, read on.

You will be among the first to know when the parasite has chosen life on the outside.

Love,
Stacy

 

I woke up yesterday morning with a sore throat.  The kind that you have when you sleep with the hot air heat blowing on you all night?  However, the heat doesn't blow on me at night and the sore throat got worse and then my left sinus started to hurt and then the snot started to pour. 

I resolved to having a cold.  Fine. It happens. But, the week I'm DUE???  Christ.  Where is the fairness?

But. Last night?  Um... hell.

9:35 PM: Marc wants to go upstairs and watch TV in bed so he can go to sleep early.  I go with him because I'm a nice wife and a little tired.

10:35 PM: Still sipping my tea and watching the new on mute.

2:42 AM: Awake. Pee. Go downstairs for a drink and a snack.  Eat a bowl of cereal and two glasses of Crystal Light Iced Tea. Hines joins me.  Let Hines outside to pee.  Go back upstairs to bed, stop on the way to pee. Again.

2:56 AM:  Contraction.

3:12 AM: Contraction.

3:39 AM: Still laying awake in bed occasionally dabbing at the snot running out of my left nostril.

3:40 AM:  Marc gets out of bed to pee.

3:41 AM: I get out of bed to pee, making grunting hoisting noises along the way because, lets face it, I'm a beached whale with fat, swollen feet, and a loud sniffle.

3:55 AM: Marc goes downstairs to sleep and I lay in bed unable to sleep even though I am supporting every bulging part of my part with one of the eleven pillows on my bed.

4:05 AM:  Realize that the early morning news will be on soon and I have been away since 2:42am. resolve to the fact that this will soon be my life, without the snot and sore throat.

6:30 AM:  Wake up to the alarm that Marc did not turn off at 3:55am.

7:30 AM: Get out of bed. Stand. Put piping hot washcloth on my face and manage to breath with about a third of my usual nostril capacity.

Comments

[AB]

Oh...the horror stories I could tell you of my pregnancies coupled with the sinus suffering. Only my enemies should know such pain.