Um.
Humfph.
I don't know where to begin. So, um, remember that snake of my brother's that I was taking care of, like, oh, a year ago?
Oh, right, this one.
We have all lived very peacefully since June of last year. Last night it was feeding time. I knew she was hungry because she has been searching for food the past few nights by staring through the screened top of her cage for about three hours each night, hoping, beyond all hope that a rodent would just drop down into her cage.
So, feeding time it is. I thawed a rat and warmed it in hot water. I got the cardboard box ready. (She eats in a box so she doesn't get territorial about her cage. Yeah! Whatever.) I got everything set up like usual, dimmed the lights. Turned off the TV. Removed the top of the tank. Reached in.
SNAP!
BITE!
OHSHIT. HOLYCRAP.
Readers can imagine a scream more blood curdling than when your 80 year old grandmother saw a mouse.
The immediate shaking of my hand and the scream, I mean, the SCREAM! was enough to get her to let go. I closed her tank and suddenly Marc appeared and asked what happened?!
SHEBIIIITTEEME.SHEBITEMEEEE! AHHHHHH!
Truth is, it barely broke the skin, but enough that there was some blood. Through my massively hysterical heaving tears, I called my brother who did not answer his phone because he saw it was me calling. I also called my mother who said, "ok, I am in bed right now, so put some peroxide on it. Click."
And I was all I AM PREGNANT I CANNOT GET BITTEN BY A SNAKE! HOLYMOTHEROFHELL, WHAT NOW?
I'm glad my nurturing skills are more finally tuned right now than that of my own mother. Sheesh.
I cried for a long time because I felt bad for the snake because she didn't mean to bite me, she was just hungry and protecting herself and possibly trying to eat me. I felt bad because she was still hungry and I didn't and couldn't feed her after THAT, and I am a pregnant woman and I KNOW hunger and OHMYGOD another living thing needs me and I can't help it. WAH! And then I cried a little because I just got a fucking snake bite.
This morning my Dad made me call the doctor who very calmly said, you need antibiotics and a tetanus shot.
I told them I could come tomorrow? You know, when I'm taking a day off and not working.
And they told me, that NO! I needed to see them or an ER right now.
A non venomous snake bite is not too serious, but the snake's mouth can harbor a lot of bacteria and you never know until it is too late.
Today's Totals:
Work: 2 hours
Traffic: 1.5 hours
Doctor's Office: 3 hours
Shots: 1
Antibiotics: 1
Love for my brother: -1
Fatigue, general tiredness from the insanity: 4,356,625,190
I kept having to call the office today and ask questions like: If the antibiotic gives me a yeast infection, can I use over the counter Monistat? But the really good part of that story is that I can call them and instead of going through the spelling of my name and all that crap, I can just say, Hi! I'm the pregnant lady with the snake bite!
And, to add insult to injury, Guinness the Cat puked on my head last night while I was sleeping and I had to clean smelly cat barf out of my bed and change my pillowcase at 2am.