I am very sorry for completely losing my mind tonight. I think the wedding stress did get to me a little teeny bit. Actually, I feel quite at peace with everything. I don't have much left to do. I'm just wishing I wasn't so busy, so busy today, so busy last week, so busy last month and so sick in January and so angry in April. I am sort of beating myself up for one little number being off on my menu totals. I know! Totally insane, right? But, I'm off my meds for the sake of the baby not having seven eye balls and, well, the OCD does rear up now and then. Also? I just like being exact, especially if the computer has done the math for me.
The stress? My new blackberry, from my new job, BROKE. I haven't been able to respond to any emails or calls since about 6pm tonight. I also haven't called my boss from another phone because I am afraid to, and, am hoping HOPING that somehow my blackberry just discharged and needs a full night of charging. PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS THE CASE. A broken blackberry three days before your wedding, when you are already out of town is so not cool. In fact, it is nauseating, more so than being pregnant.
Scary thing about being pregnant today? No symptoms. Nothing. Nada. No heartburn, no sickies, no low blood sugar weakies, no bloated, no poochy tummy. Perhaps I AM carry a girls who just sort of understands that Mommy's wedding is in three days and she should just be quiet and grow silently until after the wedding. I did make a promise to my unborn embryo; you suck it in until my wedding, I'll give you any $$wedding$$ you want. I'm such a cool Mom, no?
Also, before my blackberry broke, I did sort of say it would be a nice blessing if, well, I can't remember what I said, but it was something like, it would be a real blessing if that fucking thing stopped working. And then I said, and this I know for sure, shit, you really do have to be careful what you wish for.
Returning to the reason for this open letter ... dear family, in-law parents, Marc, random drivers on 75 Northbound, am sorry, am a stressed out bride, please forgive a sexy pregnant woman?
Also: If I die tonight? It is because there is a large mosquito stuck in my bedroom and occasionally he flies in front of my screen. Headline in tomorrow's news, Mosquito eats sleeping bride-to-be, details at a eleven.
I really hope that scratching sound that sounds like a screen being ripped is just the automatic sprinklers coming on outside.
