I had a typical Tuesday, I think. I got to work at 8:20am. Early. Set up a breakfast bar of pastries and muffins. Ate a little bit. Worked a lot. Lost hours to work, about 45 minutes to an email outage and the rest I don't remember. I'm in charge of large portions of an upcoming major function. I'm thrilled to the core to be considered trustworthy enough to handle this, but also scared shitless at the amount of work and what I have before me.
I am proud to say that I squelched a panic attack today by actually doing MORE work. I sat, pen in hand and wrote and wrote and wrote and actually got calmer! Note to self.
I just had a mid-blog pause to make a phone call and came back to find Sofie in my seat. She warmed it for me, and since I was just out on the balcony, a thank you to Miss. Sof for my now warm ass.
I had ideas for this entry but I since my memory is frozen at the moment, I'll just talk about my thoughts after seeing Brokeback Mountain. OH.MY.GOD. I loved it. I get very mad when people say "ew, a movie about gay cowboys, no thanks." It is NOT about gay cowboys. Nor is Hollywood trying to inflict gayness on the world. It is a story about love. A story about friendship. A story about the complexities of relationships and the pressures of a society. In my short lifetime I have had a number of friends, loved a few people, thought very little of a lot of people, hated even fewer, and had relationships that are complicated. I loved that a movie with a less than average amount of dialog was able to convey such strong messages. Perhaps the best is left unsaid ... Brokeback made me want to embrace all the different types of people in my life. It made me sad for those who can't really be who they think they are. Sadder for those who don't know who they are. It was a great display of the social forces that are really out there and how we try to conform to the norms, with the ultimate goal being to simply blend. I like that not everything is easily explained. Perception really is just that ... nothing more than a notion, an image, an idea of the surface meaning.
I really need to get to bed because I really really need to workout in the morning.
Still have 17 people coming here on Sunday. Still only one bathroom. Five of the 17 are Marc's family. The cleaning stress and subsequent panic will settle in about midday on Thursday. Please send good wishes, and some floor cleaner.
Oh! Yesterday I got home and found my mailbox full of dumb bills (which I paid tonight and succumbed to the necessary panic attack, I digress) at the bottom of my stack of bills, I saw a letter. A letter for me. A hand-written letter. They still exist between special friends. I have a friend, we'll call her Rose, we met awhile ago, we don't talk very often, but we have something special, we will always be friends. She is the coolest, strongest, most creative and warm person I've ever known. Too bad we don't live close to each other. I got my special colorful handwritten letter from my friend who is sweeter than her name really says. :) See ... there are relationships that aren't easily defined or understood, but they matter and no one has a right to question its validity.
