Fabulous Miss S.

Tuesday and Friendships.

I had a typical Tuesday, I think.  I got to work at 8:20am. Early. Set up a breakfast bar of pastries and muffins. Ate a little bit. Worked a lot. Lost hours to work, about 45 minutes to an email outage and the rest I don't remember.  I'm in charge of large portions of an upcoming major function.  I'm thrilled to the core to be considered trustworthy enough to handle this, but also scared shitless at the amount of work and what I have before me. 

I am proud to say that I squelched a panic attack today by actually doing MORE work.  I sat, pen in hand and wrote and wrote and wrote and actually got calmer!  Note to self. 

I just had a mid-blog pause to make a phone call and came back to find Sofie in my seat.  She warmed it for me, and since I was just out on the balcony, a thank you to Miss. Sof for my now warm ass.

I had ideas for this entry but I since my memory is frozen at the moment, I'll just talk about my thoughts after seeing Brokeback Mountain. OH.MY.GOD. I loved it.  I get very mad when people say "ew, a movie about gay cowboys, no thanks." It is NOT about gay cowboys. Nor is Hollywood trying to inflict gayness on the world.  It is a story about love. A story about friendship. A story about the complexities of relationships and the pressures of a society.  In my short lifetime I have had a number of friends, loved a few people, thought very little of a lot of people, hated even fewer, and had relationships that are complicated.  I loved that a movie with a less than average amount of dialog was able to convey such strong messages.  Perhaps the best is left unsaid ... Brokeback made me want to embrace all the different types of people in my life.  It made me sad for those who can't really be who they think they are.  Sadder for those who don't know who they are.  It was a great display of the social forces that are really out there and how we try to conform to the norms, with the ultimate goal being to simply blend.  I like that not everything is easily explained.  Perception really is just that ... nothing more than a notion, an image, an idea of the surface meaning. 

I really need to get to bed because I really really need to workout in the morning.

Still have 17 people coming here on Sunday.  Still only one bathroom.  Five of the 17 are Marc's family.  The cleaning stress and subsequent panic will settle in about midday on Thursday.  Please send good wishes, and some floor cleaner.

Oh!  Yesterday I got home and found my mailbox full of dumb bills (which I paid tonight and succumbed to the necessary panic attack, I digress) at the bottom of my stack of bills, I saw a letter. A letter for me.  A hand-written letter. They still exist between special friends.  I have a friend, we'll call her Rose, we met awhile ago, we don't talk very often, but we have something special, we will always be friends.  She is the coolest, strongest, most creative and warm person I've ever known.  Too bad we don't live close to each other.  I got my special colorful handwritten letter from my friend who is sweeter than her name really says. :)  See ... there are relationships that aren't easily defined or understood, but they matter and no one has a right to question its validity. 

So discombobulated that I can't even think of a title.

I feel like I have suddenly been thrown into seventh gear.  I hosted a little family gathering this weekend that turned out to be great fun.  I was able to workout on Sunday morning. Yeah! 

I have another party to plan and arrange and clean for this coming weekend.  A little national event called a Super Bowl on Sunday.  I believe the Pittsburgh Steelers are playing ... yeah, so big party.  Half of Marc's family is coming over.  I'm totally freaked about my apartment.  Perhaps I'm still sitting here at work at 6:35 on a Monday night very content like because if I go home I will just flip out over the mess and clutter and unpainted-chipped paint walls with scuff marks older than I am. And that IS NOT an exaggeration.  I hate my walls, except the one I painted.  I wish I had matching furniture, or at least another chair in my living room.  I wish I had walls without fifty seven picture hanging nails in them - now that all of Grandma's pictures are down, mine don't fit the areas where the nails are.  So, so I leave the rusted nails in the wall, or pull them out and just have a nasty old hole in my wall?  And -  my bathroom is too small.  I'm really panicked about the fact that I am going to have 19 guests in my apartment for at least three hours on Sunday night and I only have one bathroom.

I have so much work to do at the office it isn't funny.  I'm actually feeling more calm at work than I am at home right now.  I'm so exhausted. 

I am starting to hear things ... I think I need some dinner, a hot shower and a comfy chair to fall asleep in. 

But OH!  I saw Brokeback Mountain. Oh.My.God. It was a great movie.  A beautiful love story .  A thought provoking story.  A sad story.  It makes you believe a little in the good things like love and nature and simplicity.  It also reminds you of the harsh realities of ignorance, responsibilities, and self awareness.  I cried. It felt good too. And then, I cried some more. Good thing Sarah was there. Crying with me.

Half-Nekkid Thursday

Half Nekkid Thursday

Crapity crapy night.

I am typing this as I stand in the laundry room in the basement of GP3 waiting for a load of towels to dry.  Marc is mad at me because he can't sleep and I will make noise when I come back into the apartment.  I digress. I am standing and my feet hurt. Why do my feet hurt?  'Cause I ran 3 miles tonight.  I have been seriously diligent about going to the gym.  It is a little out of character for me, but I'm liking this trend.  I ran and did some stretching and strength stuff -- then went upstairs and showered. A cold shower to cool off my body. What with the heart rate at 200 I can only imagine that the temperature was up there a bit too.  I cooled off, and marveled at the rosy-porcelain cheeks on my face, got dressed and proceeded to begin what can only be described as a night of crappiness and laundry.  It seems my apartment building got new washers and dryers.  Yeah. Really, the old ones were icky and broken, so definitely a good upgrade.  However, there is a new money system and we had to buy a new card and blahblahlah. All kinds of not really trouble but just annoying stuff. So, still standing waiting for towels to dry.  My paranoia is slightly high right now cause I'm in here all alone. I don't like being alone sometimes. But, sometimes I love being alone - but in my own spaces. I digress again ... yes, digression is a theme of this entry.   I cleaned the apartment and out everything away because the housekeeper is coming tomorrow.  I know. I'm a freako. I clean for the housekeeper. I don't really. I don't clean with spray or wipes - but rather, I put away all my clutter because it will either disappear to trash world or be put someplace that I'll never find it.  I'm also concerned about what my housekeeper thinks of me.  Seeing as how I have a catalog sitting around from the party I went to Saturday night.  doh.

Three minutes left on my towels.  So, in summary: I'm working out. Loving it. Looking better and feeling better. Yes, I know. YOU ALL TOLD ME SO.  I am looking forward to coming home tomorrow night and having a clean house, even if my housekeeper thinks I am a sicko weirdo freak-girl.  Marc gets to spend time in one of my favorite cities ... bummer for me.  But, girls night ?  Or, alone night ? Or .... I don't know. I'm sure I'll be asleep at 8:30 anyway. 

I have so much more to say but really its nothing at all.  Dry towels. Bye!

I found some pics from the past and I will post tomorrow.

Did you overhear my squeal ?

Apologies for my absence.  I have had nothing to say.  In all likelihood, this posting will have nothing valuable either with the exception of a few humorous musing from the Fabulous Miss S. 

Last week I had a massive moment of squealy freaky freaking out (well, in reality it was more of a silent thud as my heart fell out of body) when I thought that my site had possibly been discovered.  As I discussed before it isn't an issue at all - being found out (cause I'm all protective about the protective stuff) - but I was just caught off guard and it threw me for a loop.  So today I asked SCH what he meant when he called me "Fabulous" and he thought it was funny that I had gotten all fahmished because he calls everyone that. But, of course, I am fabulous. Duh. What I have very clearly seen about myself is that I am paranoid. I am paranoid to high hell, often squealy and at times, vaguely sexy. 

I've been busy at work which is excellent.  I need to keep busy or my mind wanders and I start to go a little krazee.  My Internet wanderings brought me to this website, Overheard in New York.  Wow.  I think it was nominated for a Bloggie Award. The Internet is an excellent resource for those with too much time on their hands to express themselves to the entire world, inconspicuously. Fascinating stuff, huh?  The lengths to which we are able to communicate with people who we would otherwise never encounter in our daily shuffles. Anyway, I just like hearing what is being said on the streets on NYC - where nothing is too racy, too taboo, or too inappropriate.  Also, a Bloggie?  So cool. Just the word.   

It's okay to be paranoid. It keeps you on your toes!