I don't think I look too good right now.
This is, of course, all very, very relative.
October of last year was the highlight of my self esteem high from months of sweating it out with Jillian and her blasted 30-Day Shred.
I bitched and whined about it a lot, but the truth is, Noah stopped sleeping through the night sometime during that month and when the sleep deprivation reared its ugly head I caved under the pressure and gave up the one thing that could have kept me mentally on top of my MOM-game. I stopped exercising. It wasn't a conscious decision but rather I just got a bit derailed. One week I only worked out twice and then only once and then I got sick and before I knew it I hadn't seen a pair of spandex anything in ten days and then it became two weeks and two weeks became a month and then we were sick again and a month became m-o-n-t-h-s.
I know this isn't news.
I know I'm not an anomaly.
Many people take on exercise routines and things and life get in the way and they get, you know, derailed.
My stomach is flabby and it hangs over my waistband. My arms are not as toned and don't feel as strong. I have lost the hint of obliques that I was once so proud to see, albeit, shocked. It is my fault. Sometimes I blame Marc for "letting me get off track" and what I mean is that I wish he had noticed that I wasn't exercising and had come to me and said such and then pushed me toward the treadmill and reminded me to make no excuses. But, he is my husband, not my trainer and not responsible for my choices.
I want to blame.
I want to cry and yell that it isn't fair.
I have to just ... get back on track.
I am not starting from zero. And I know how much I can do. I know that I can walk on the treadmill on an incline for thirty minutes and then run for thirty more. I know that I am capable of Level 3 on the 30-Day Shred, but I'll stick with Level 2 thankyouverymuchhere'smylung.
I need to schedule better. I need to stop making excuses and just do it.
I'm asking you to hold me to it this time so I'm joining the Shredheads.
I will post my weight, shred-plan and goals soon ....