30 Days to Better

Reflection: Balance

Back in January I tackled the concept of Balance.  I noticed that I mostly complained about not feeling as those I was able to balance parenting, running a house and finding time for myself, specifically, time for exercise.   I found that BALANCE, as a notion, concept and faraway pipe dream was a tougher thing to achieve than I had originally thought.  I think it is something that you have to face each and every day and just do the best you can, make the best decisions you can, in each moment to maximize what matters most to you any given point in life.

Six months after this posting, I am no longer searching for exercise time.  Now, three months pregnant, I walk one and a half to three miles about 3 or 4 times a week.  I always push Noah in the stroller and sometimes even take the dog along for added stress and difficulty.   For the most part, I, personally, feel a moderate amount of balance in my life right now and I attribute this feeling to the simple fact that I have simplified my life drastically, mainly to conquer the first trimester *issues* like morning sickness, massive food aversions, super-nose, extreme fatigue, and general gestational moodiness.

As I reflect on how I'm achieving positive balance in my life, for now, I have to give myself a serious pat on the back and a PASS.  I feel a good balance right now, mostly.  I'm taking care of myself first and foremost because if I feel sick and gross, I cannot care for Noah, and then we have real trouble.  Making sure I'm rested and eating well are my top priorities and so far this is serving us all fairly well.

BOCA's Balanced Living Challenge

How great is it that BOCA is featuring a Balanced Living Challenge this month?

If being more balanced means juggling it all better, with more precision, more checks on the To-Do list each day and more overall health and happiness then I am totally on board to TRY.   I've devoted this month to trying to seek out better balance in my own life.   Of course, a stay-at-home-wife and five extra hours each day would be great for me and might actually solve all of my struggles, that isn't happening.   I make lists, I prioritize, I forgive myself for not getting something accomplished or clean.  It isn't a crisis is my kid wears sweatpants and t-shirts all week.  It's a crisis if I run out of diapers, forget to buy more and don't care.  A little perspective helps keep it all in place.

Last year, after the birth of my son, I lost 50 pounds of baby weight and a few more and I've managed to keep most of it off although I my exercise has dropped off and waned to the point of rare, once, maybe  twice weekly, instead of daily.  I want to incorporate exercise into each day but sometimes it doesn't happen.  Instead of beating myself up over my lost obliques I remind myself that I can still wear a single-digit-size pair of jeans and I actually enjoy cabbage-apple-spinach salads at lunch. 

Balance isn't always about getting it all done.  It's about striking a balance between getting most things done on most days and forgiving yourself the days you don't. 

Balance: It's not all about fitness

My work this month, personally, focuses on balancing time with my family and time for exercise, because, for now at least, that is my greatest challenge.  It is where I feel the most unbalanced.

It also occurs to me that it isn't just time that we are struggling to get into moderation.   Are there other issues of your life that you want to be more prominent?  Do you want to do more volunteering? YES.  Do you want to do more traveling, explore places locally? YES.  Do you want to read more books and less Us Weekly? (let me think about that one ....)

I always said I was going to be the kind of parent who didn't care about the dirty dishes and chose to play with the kids instead.  In reality, I'm not quite there.  I worry about the dishes dammit!  I have made a conscious effort this week to let the breakfast dishes stay in the sink until lunchtime.  After lunch I put four plates into the dishwasher, instead of two at breakfast and two at lunch. See?  I don't waste time cleaning up in the morning, when Noah is at his best cute-wise and play-wise and it doesn't make much of a mess ... and a few hours later, dishes are done.  No harm. No foul. And I get more morning time to play with my kid.  

Also....

Here is a list of my goals for the next 10 days of January:
1. Make time to exercise 4-5 times a week.
2. Finish one book and start another - don't just read in the bathroom -- go to bed 15 minutes earlier each night and read for 20 minutes.
3. Read three pages from INSIDE the newspaper each day.
4. Take at least 10 minutes each night to TALK - no TV, no kids, no pets - to my husband. 
5. Blog more. Blog brief.  I'm going to be more present here and online. I have started a new site that is launching soon and I want to tend to it all -- but not feel like I'm playing catch up all the time.  I'll just do a little bit each day.

Back on the beam of balance

I'm working on this balancing act thing, really, I am.

I don't have enough hateful miserable words to describe the plague intensity snot fest that we are having over here at Casa de Fabulous but I will say that since Noah has gotten this wintertime rhino-virus thing, I have made multiple trips to the store for Kleenex alone. Does that give you an idea?  I have a patent pending on a baby nose-wiping technique.

At the end of the day I am responsible for not getting on the treadmill, not going to the gym, not going out for a walk or doing a workout on the 30 Day Shred DVD.   When I look back into my achieves of this site it seems like every few days I wrote something to the nails-on-a-chalk-board-tune of woe is me! I have been sick and couldn't workout, Waaaa!
Bottom line is, I made the choice, regardless of the circumstances and I have to accept where I am and just get up and move. Today.

So I did.

I went to the gym yesterday and did 35 minutes of cardio work and then did some strength training.  I am a bit out of shape and I do have borderline bronchitis and my lung capacity and breathing were vaguely compromised.  I am not at the level of fitness that I was two months ago and basically it pisses me off. 

In exchange for going to the gym and exercising EVERY night I am spending more time with my husband and my son and my pets.  I am getting a lot more writing done and I'm even getting more rest, sort of.  Although, that's not an easy one to quantify because, damn, little is little, no matter how nicely you dress it up.

I did a little exercise today but the coughing got to me and I stopped after not very long.  I'm getting back to it. I am working on this issue of balancing all of the roles I play.  It's a new struggle each day to see where I am needed most and what is needed of me. 

How about you?  In the past week, what have you made time for that you had been missing, and what do you wish you had more time to do?

Apparently I am off balance

Well, hell.  Clearly I am not well balanced.  At all.

I originally chose this topic for the month of January when we all make resolutions for change and to better ourselves.  What better of a time to consider how we balance it all than when we are trying to get everything in our lives in order and prepared to achieve our newest resolves? 

Our time for ourselves, our spouses, our children, etc .... 

I have the spent the last five weeks wiping my one-year-old's nose with a very high level of frequency, if you catch my drift.  During this time I have been the lucky beneficiary of two separate sinus plagues, courtesy of this dear child of mine.  I have not exercised more than three times.  I have been to the gym twice.  I have done a few stretches, some exercises on the fitness ball and I will confess to you that I have even considered cleaning my entire house in one day to be  "a decent enough workout".  I confess, I am ashamed.  I am mad that I haven't been able to or motivated enough to demand time for myself.  I have not pulled together a piece of time, motivation and energy with any synergy.

I have gained a few pounds.  I can still wear my smallest jeans but it isn't a pretty sight.  I'm soft. I'm muffin-toppy,  and love-handley, and not in a good way.  NOT at all.  I have lost muscle tone and I currently hate the shape, or rather, misshape of my hips and waist and thighs. I still look better than I did well ... ever.  I know I am being hard on myself but mainly because I was so darn proud of my physical achievements up until about the middle of December. 

This month is halfway over.  I have time to turn it around and salvage tomorrow. Today!

I'll get back on track.  I know it.  Getting over the mental low of getting off track is actually the hardest part. 

Balance

Who isn't or hasn't struggled with the concept of Balance in this life?

Time for work, family, kids, exercise, time to make healthy food, eat it without watching television and without rushing to clean-up afterward, read a book, keep up with the news, keep a journal, clean the house, doctor appointments, the pets!, visit family, friends, see a movie, grocery shopping, leisure shopping, time to maintain your marriage, play with your kids before bedtime, sex? ... sleep much?

Life is hectic. No kidding. I think we all need five extra hours each day and even then we wouldn't be getting 8 hours of sleep each night. 

This month will focus on ways to improve the balance in your life.  Whether it's time management or delegating, asking for help or slimming down responsibilities and commitments, getting organized or hiring a cleaning service, take the next 30 days to try new ways of getting your life more in balance.

In thirty days you can make a positive change for a better YOU.  Nothing too intense.  Not at all 12-steppy.  Just suggestions to incorporate into your life, do as much or as little as works for you. 

So I ask ... if you could improve the balance in your life a little, what you like to make more time for?